Does death bring purpose to life?

If you don't like morbid thoughts, stop reading now. Go catch a butterfly. However someday, probably today... it will die.

Someday, we ALL will die.

I don't like thinking about it probably as much as you don't like thinking about it, but I am learning that facing the inevitable is probably a much better strategy than running from it. J. R. R. Tolkien once said: "It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him." And, death is a dragon we all live near.

This past weekend, I attended Passion 2010 (a conference for 18-25 year olds) where one of the speakers was Andy Stanley, the pastor at North Point Community Church. He talked about how it is most important to figure out who you want to be in life before figuring out who you are going to know or what you are going to do. One of the ideas he gave to us was to think about what we would want said at our own funeral.

It's funny he mentioned all of this because I have recently been telling my brother such things because he is currently on a quest (that I know will remain never-ending, like the rest of ours) to determine his career path. It's safe to say that this has been something that has been on my mind often.

(I suppose it would be appropriate to mention here that I have been thinking/processing/wondering/figuring about so many things lately. I spent the month of November in Africa... see alloverafrica.blogspot.com... and from my time spent away, I have much to process. There have been so many things I have wanted to write about, journal through and post here that I didn't even know where to start. So, I have decided to start my blogging again... and to just type. Sorry ahead of time for the lack of organized thoughts. More is to come, I am sure.)

And back to it: WHO WILL I BE? The day that I die, what will my family say about me, my best friends, the people I have lived with, worked with, cared for and spoken to? Would I be satisfied with what is said about my life at my funeral? To figure this out, I have been working on writing down things that I hope would be spoken about me at that service. I have been listing characteristics that I hope to possess the day that I die. The exercise has been draining, reflective and odd. And, the exercise has produced a list of 36 things that I want you all to think of me when I die.

36. It seems like a lot, doesn't it? I kept thinking about how much of a dreamer I am, how optimistic I seem and how I have too many aspirations for life. And then, I looked back at my list and realized that many of the things that I am working towards are not even on my list. I would tell you today that I would love to be a great pianist and photographer, that I would like to have a good sense of style and that I would like for you to think that I was good at my job, successful in working with people and accomplishing goals. And you know what? The characteristics on my list were things like: discerning, gentle, joy-filled, kind and brave (and 31 other things).

All this made me realize that I have so far to go. I'm not even working too hard at becoming who I want to be... rather, I am working on sight-reading sheet music and checking off to-do lists.

All this made me thankful for grace.

When someone dies, it's almost like those close to the one who just passed on from life taste a little bit of death, too. And, I think that while we taste the earthly chill and darkness of death, we also experience a little bit of a heavenly perspective, valuing things that God smiles about. At funerals, we speak about the dead, how they feared God, expressed unending compassion and were humble. Something about it is beautiful. And somewhere in my heart I know that I want my funeral to be beautiful... beautifully glorifying God because I know that is ultimately the desire of the deepest part of me. I imagine the best way of summing up my 36 characteristics would be that my funeral not really be about me, but about Him. Ultimately, I want for people to lift their eyes up to the Lord (instead of looking to me) because I am in their life.

Too bad all of this is much easier said than lived.

So I ask again: does death bring purpose to life? Yes. Without it, what hurry would I be in to be like Jesus, to bear fruits of the Spirit and to bring awe, praise and glory to God? Not much hurry, I don't think. Because of death, then, we have much reason to live and to live life to the full... just how He intended it.

What a gift. And what an incredible chance to shine light on the Giver of life.

Thank you for reading, friends. Someday, maybe I will be a better writer and my thoughts will actually make sense on paper. Until then, I appreciate you spending a little time to think and wonder about what all of this is about!