What can I offer you? What can I offer to anyone? I'd like to think I am able to offer so much... tangible things and the intangible: all things from food, a place to hang out, a ride home or money to hope, encouragement in despair or love that doesn't hesitate.
In reality, though, I can't offer anyone anything except Christ. A friend of mine that I met this summer mentioned this truth in an email and since he said it, it stuck. In Christ, we can find sustenance, rest, peace and unstoppable love. However, I really have nothing except Him. This is really hard for me to think about because, as a business major, I can often find myself thinking in transactions: what are my assets, what can I offer to others, and if I am honest about it, what can I get back? It's sad because that is such a twisted way of thinking when you look at it.
Ultimately, although we think we have possessions and ownership of stuff, talents, time and energy, we don't have ANYTHING. But now for the amazing part:
"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:4)
Catch that? When we are perfect, whole and God is finished working us over, we will LACK NOTHING. And why? Because we have gained Christ. With and in Him, we are complete, perfect and done. So... my ability to offer others anything comes down to this: will I choose to offer them Christ since really that is all I have... AND, all they need? Hope so. Hope I will offer all He has given me so they may choose Him.
In a Donald Miller book, "Searching For God Knows What", Miller quotes Toni Morrison, an Nobel-Prize winning novelist, who was being interviewed about her successful writing career.
"...when asked why she had become a great writer, what books she had read, what method she had used to structure her practice... she laughed and said, 'Oh, no, that is not why I am a great writer. I am a great writer because when I was a little girl and walked into a room where my father was sitting, his eyes would light up. That is why I am a great writer. That is why. There isn't any other reason.'"
I imagine that Jesus looked at people like Morrison's dad looked at her. May I never stop looking to Jesus and seeing his loving eyes so I can be one who helps create value in others by offering them life, love, hope and Christ Himself.
Hm. It's all pretty incredible, isn't it? Thanks for listening to this crazy thought process that's still fitting together after a LONG time trying to figure it out. :) As time passes, though, I'm becoming more and more satisfied in not understanding it and simply experiencing it. Sorry for the brokenness, unfinished thoughts and wonders. I suppose that's what blogs are for.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
To what end?
I often wonder what the point of life is. Sometimes, you here people say, "Life's all about __________."
Here are a few I've heard:
• "Life's all about balance."
• "Life's all about taking chances."
• "Life's all about making a difference."
• "Life's all about finding that special someone who makes you all you can be."
• "Life's all about achievements."
• "Life's all about finding happiness."
• "Life's all about making money."
• "Life's all about learning to be better each day."
• "Life's all about enjoying every moment."
After I hear someone say that, I have to admit: I think that they are wrong. While most of us know that the Hokey Pokey's not what's it's all about... we probably all have wondered:
What IS it all about then?
I hate to say it, but I don't think any of us will ever figure the specifics of it out.
However, what I've gotten so far from 24 years on this planet is that my purpose includes being loved by God and loving Him and others with that love.
It kind of makes the quest for balance, work for money and search for success sound pretty lame. Really... our PURPOSE involves LOVE FROM GOD, LOVE FOR GOD and LOVE FROM OTHERS. What greater purpose could we even ask for?
I took a bunch of middle and high schoolers to camp this summer. In one of our group meetings, the other leaders and I passed out paper and asked the kids to write any question they wanted on them. Then, we would read the questions anonymously to the crew and do our best to answer. We got all sorts of questions ranging from topics about making friends in 7th grade to wonderings about heaven and hell to one of the kids asking what time it is.
One of the most intriguing questions, though, was:
"If God made us to glorify Himself, is He truly perfect? He sounds a bit self-centered to me."
And, the question begs a thought many of us have probably had. My housemate, though, spoke wisdom to me with her answer: Glorifying God, loving Him and being loved by Him is the best thing for us... so, of course, God--our God of infinite Love--desires these things for our lives.
It's all pretty incredible, really.
Thank you, as always, for listening to my wonderings. :)
Here are a few I've heard:
• "Life's all about balance."
• "Life's all about taking chances."
• "Life's all about making a difference."
• "Life's all about finding that special someone who makes you all you can be."
• "Life's all about achievements."
• "Life's all about finding happiness."
• "Life's all about making money."
• "Life's all about learning to be better each day."
• "Life's all about enjoying every moment."
After I hear someone say that, I have to admit: I think that they are wrong. While most of us know that the Hokey Pokey's not what's it's all about... we probably all have wondered:
What IS it all about then?
I hate to say it, but I don't think any of us will ever figure the specifics of it out.
However, what I've gotten so far from 24 years on this planet is that my purpose includes being loved by God and loving Him and others with that love.
It kind of makes the quest for balance, work for money and search for success sound pretty lame. Really... our PURPOSE involves LOVE FROM GOD, LOVE FOR GOD and LOVE FROM OTHERS. What greater purpose could we even ask for?
I took a bunch of middle and high schoolers to camp this summer. In one of our group meetings, the other leaders and I passed out paper and asked the kids to write any question they wanted on them. Then, we would read the questions anonymously to the crew and do our best to answer. We got all sorts of questions ranging from topics about making friends in 7th grade to wonderings about heaven and hell to one of the kids asking what time it is.
One of the most intriguing questions, though, was:
"If God made us to glorify Himself, is He truly perfect? He sounds a bit self-centered to me."
And, the question begs a thought many of us have probably had. My housemate, though, spoke wisdom to me with her answer: Glorifying God, loving Him and being loved by Him is the best thing for us... so, of course, God--our God of infinite Love--desires these things for our lives.
It's all pretty incredible, really.
Thank you, as always, for listening to my wonderings. :)
Friday, June 26, 2009
To Be A Daughter
Following are some thoughts I had yesterday. Before reading, know that none of these thoughts are new, brilliant or smart. They are just simple and pleasant and real... however, I learned more from them than lots of "intelligent" things anyone could say.
I drove home in the dark last night. It was hot outside, but the cool air was rushing through the windows and the sunroof of my car. It was definitely a moment for thinking, listening and remembering. Sara Groves was singing a song through the speakers in my car called, "Why It Matters." The first verse is:
Sit with me and tell me once again
Of the story that's been told us
Of the power that will hold us
Of the beauty, of the beauty
Why it matters
As I drove, I tried to think about why it all matters. Sometimes, it's hard for me to tell the greatest story of Love over and over again, new and fresh... of the power that holds us, of the beauty. I want it to be fresh and new each moment, but often it's not. It sometimes becomes too familiar for me to see the beauty of it all.
Still thinking and driving, I thought about how I was alone. It definitely wasn't a sad loneliness at all, but an awareness about how the path my life has taken has placed me away from my "first" family, before starting my "second," if that's going to happen. I was thinking about how I used to feel when I was constantly surrounded by the love of my "first" family.
One of the most constant memories I had growing up was late at night while lying in bed. My goodnight routine would include Dad coming upstairs to wish Lee and me goodnight and then he would go back downstairs. Then, my dad would come up every night again after the lights were out and after all was still and, whether I was awake or asleep, he would kneel at the foot of my bed. He would put his hand under the covers of my bed and rub my little sock feet. We wouldn't speak a word. In fact, I would rarely even let him know that I was still awake because I didn't want him to think he was keeping me up and then to leave. I pretended to be asleep and I think that he always believed me, but I knew each night he was coming up after my brother and I were quiet (we slept in the same room most of the time) so I would try to stay awake till he came up. He would rub my feet and then come to kneel closer to me near the head of the bed. Sometimes, he would just stay there, kneeling, still. He would take his hand across my forehead, his thumb over my closed eyes, slowly, over and over again. And, I don't ever remember him leaving me while I was awake... he would be there for awhile praying silently over me until I fell fast sleep. The best way I can describe it is as an expression of a father's tender and sweet love.
So... still driving, I was thinking about those nights... tears streaming down my face, almost wishing to go back. And then, I realized: we have a Father who does that. We have a Father who quiets His children with His love. The Psalms speak about God's unfailing love and it all makes me think about being an heir, a daughter to the King. And then I wonder about how my dad's love for me is just a glimpse into the love from my heavenly Father. Thinking about God in this way made me feel like I felt when I was lying in bed at night as a little girl. Thinking about those nights made it all fresh, because it's something that is happening now. It's not a love story of a Savior named Jesus from 2000 years ago, it's a story of love that's being told, and written, right now.
And, of course, still driving, I kept thinking under the night sky about all of this and what it means and then I knew: This is WHY IT MATTERS. Here's the last verse of the song:
Show me the love that never fails
The compassion and attention
Midst confusion and dissention
Like small ramparts for the soul
How it matters
It matters. It matters because there are tons of people driving around in the dark, alone... knowing they are missing something they used to have or should have or something they know they wish they have... but something they have never experienced. I don't write this to sound sappy or dumb or have you all listening to me cry about my Dad, but just to remind myself and all of us... to remind us why it matters, why being a child of His matters, why being embraced by the love of our Father really does matter.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1)
I drove home in the dark last night. It was hot outside, but the cool air was rushing through the windows and the sunroof of my car. It was definitely a moment for thinking, listening and remembering. Sara Groves was singing a song through the speakers in my car called, "Why It Matters." The first verse is:
Sit with me and tell me once again
Of the story that's been told us
Of the power that will hold us
Of the beauty, of the beauty
Why it matters
As I drove, I tried to think about why it all matters. Sometimes, it's hard for me to tell the greatest story of Love over and over again, new and fresh... of the power that holds us, of the beauty. I want it to be fresh and new each moment, but often it's not. It sometimes becomes too familiar for me to see the beauty of it all.
Still thinking and driving, I thought about how I was alone. It definitely wasn't a sad loneliness at all, but an awareness about how the path my life has taken has placed me away from my "first" family, before starting my "second," if that's going to happen. I was thinking about how I used to feel when I was constantly surrounded by the love of my "first" family.
One of the most constant memories I had growing up was late at night while lying in bed. My goodnight routine would include Dad coming upstairs to wish Lee and me goodnight and then he would go back downstairs. Then, my dad would come up every night again after the lights were out and after all was still and, whether I was awake or asleep, he would kneel at the foot of my bed. He would put his hand under the covers of my bed and rub my little sock feet. We wouldn't speak a word. In fact, I would rarely even let him know that I was still awake because I didn't want him to think he was keeping me up and then to leave. I pretended to be asleep and I think that he always believed me, but I knew each night he was coming up after my brother and I were quiet (we slept in the same room most of the time) so I would try to stay awake till he came up. He would rub my feet and then come to kneel closer to me near the head of the bed. Sometimes, he would just stay there, kneeling, still. He would take his hand across my forehead, his thumb over my closed eyes, slowly, over and over again. And, I don't ever remember him leaving me while I was awake... he would be there for awhile praying silently over me until I fell fast sleep. The best way I can describe it is as an expression of a father's tender and sweet love.
So... still driving, I was thinking about those nights... tears streaming down my face, almost wishing to go back. And then, I realized: we have a Father who does that. We have a Father who quiets His children with His love. The Psalms speak about God's unfailing love and it all makes me think about being an heir, a daughter to the King. And then I wonder about how my dad's love for me is just a glimpse into the love from my heavenly Father. Thinking about God in this way made me feel like I felt when I was lying in bed at night as a little girl. Thinking about those nights made it all fresh, because it's something that is happening now. It's not a love story of a Savior named Jesus from 2000 years ago, it's a story of love that's being told, and written, right now.
And, of course, still driving, I kept thinking under the night sky about all of this and what it means and then I knew: This is WHY IT MATTERS. Here's the last verse of the song:
Show me the love that never fails
The compassion and attention
Midst confusion and dissention
Like small ramparts for the soul
How it matters
It matters. It matters because there are tons of people driving around in the dark, alone... knowing they are missing something they used to have or should have or something they know they wish they have... but something they have never experienced. I don't write this to sound sappy or dumb or have you all listening to me cry about my Dad, but just to remind myself and all of us... to remind us why it matters, why being a child of His matters, why being embraced by the love of our Father really does matter.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1 John 3:1)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
When Jesus Spent Time With God...
While Jesus was living on this planet, walking around with people like you and me, He spent time with God. I find that fascinating. He was WITH God, He WAS God and He COMMUNED with God. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are the most fascinating and ideal example of ultimate community.
When I think about them BEING together, I seriously can't even wrap my mind about what that would look like. They already know everything about the others, but they talk and relate and make requests of the others and go back and forth about things.
It's interesting because some emotions we experience when we relate to others, they never experience. They are probably never surprised, for instance, because they already know the other two so well that they expect everything already. We, on the other hand, are surprised, intentionally and unintentionally, by others all the time. That kind of makes me laugh because when the three, the Trinity, are together, One of them could make a joke... but both of the others would already know what was coming. I imagine they would all laugh, though, because they love each other so deeply and I would suspect that they have the utmost regard and respect for the others.
[I hope that this isn't seeming like I am saying things without knowledge about them. I really am just speculating about something I know nothing about.]
Something that made me wonder about the Three of them was John 17. Have you read it? Even if you have, go read it again. In it, Jesus is praying. Have you thought about that? Jesus (God) prayed to God. I had a hard time trying to think about that until I realized that there isn't anything really different about it from when we pray. While God knew everything that Jesus was going to say, He knows everything that we are going to say. God allowing us to speak to Him is inviting us to experience a taste of the ultimate community that He experiences and offers to us... one that we, one day, will know. Like I said... I find that fascinating. I could go on talking about that and chase all sorts of rabbits in my mind about it, but I won't. I will, however, leave you with John 17:20-23, the beginning of the part where Jesus prays for everyone who is going to believe in Him. Yes, think about that... He prayed for me... and you, too, if you believe:
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one. I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you loved me."
Isn't it interesting how much Jesus talked about us being in Him and God being in Jesus and different connections like that? It continues throughout the passage... but what I love is knowing that the purposes for that ultimate community are: "so that the world may believe that [God] has sent [Jesus]' and "to let the world know that [God]... loved them even as [God] loved [Jesus]."
Yes, definitely fascinating.
When I think about them BEING together, I seriously can't even wrap my mind about what that would look like. They already know everything about the others, but they talk and relate and make requests of the others and go back and forth about things.
It's interesting because some emotions we experience when we relate to others, they never experience. They are probably never surprised, for instance, because they already know the other two so well that they expect everything already. We, on the other hand, are surprised, intentionally and unintentionally, by others all the time. That kind of makes me laugh because when the three, the Trinity, are together, One of them could make a joke... but both of the others would already know what was coming. I imagine they would all laugh, though, because they love each other so deeply and I would suspect that they have the utmost regard and respect for the others.
[I hope that this isn't seeming like I am saying things without knowledge about them. I really am just speculating about something I know nothing about.]
Something that made me wonder about the Three of them was John 17. Have you read it? Even if you have, go read it again. In it, Jesus is praying. Have you thought about that? Jesus (God) prayed to God. I had a hard time trying to think about that until I realized that there isn't anything really different about it from when we pray. While God knew everything that Jesus was going to say, He knows everything that we are going to say. God allowing us to speak to Him is inviting us to experience a taste of the ultimate community that He experiences and offers to us... one that we, one day, will know. Like I said... I find that fascinating. I could go on talking about that and chase all sorts of rabbits in my mind about it, but I won't. I will, however, leave you with John 17:20-23, the beginning of the part where Jesus prays for everyone who is going to believe in Him. Yes, think about that... He prayed for me... and you, too, if you believe:
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one. I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you loved me."
Isn't it interesting how much Jesus talked about us being in Him and God being in Jesus and different connections like that? It continues throughout the passage... but what I love is knowing that the purposes for that ultimate community are: "so that the world may believe that [God] has sent [Jesus]' and "to let the world know that [God]... loved them even as [God] loved [Jesus]."
Yes, definitely fascinating.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Third Time's A Charm?
So... this is the third time I have resolved to start blogging. Again, I hate that I can't consistently keep up with this endeavor. My hope is that the third time's a charm. I woke up this morning and realized why it has been so impossible and how I might be able to change my previous inconsistency.
Here are a couple reasons I was not posting:
1. My intentions were impossible to accomplish.
I think that most all of us want people to think that we are awesome, to have a better impression of ourselves than we know we actually are. Of the people who want this, I am the worst. I want you, whoever you are, to think that I have something great to say, something inspiring or something valuable to know about life and God and love. And well, I don't. I know it sounds ridiculous that I want this, but I do. I need to be honest about that. I have some deep screwed-up part of me that wants your validation and approval as a human being and I guess I had some sick idea that I was capable of deceiving anyone who reads this blog or who knows me.
So, I stopped blogging for awhile because I had nothing to say that would make you think I am valuable. Ridiculous, I know. I have been in a lifeless place, one that I'll give a look into below, one that I unintentionally put myself in. I have not been abiding in the Giver of life, of my life. So... how could I possibly be inspired for life if I am not going to the One who originally inspired me... literally, who breathed life into me?
2. I treat God like the guy at a toll booth. Really.
I hate saying that so everyone can see it because I know I am being vulnerable, real and authentic... and not in a pleasing way. If I were being authentic by saying awesome things about God and me and our life together... that would be easy. However, I'm not. And, like I said above, I want you to give me value because of who I am. Well, since I am, slowly but surely, learning that you aren't the one who is going to create value in me... I suppose it's time for me to stop trying to impress you. About the guy at the toll booth, though...
I often ask people to draw a picture of their relationship with God using words. People say all sorts of things in response to that request, but I have found it to be an awesome way to get to know someone and see where they are. (I didn't come up with the question... a friend of mine in college asked it to me once... and it stuck.) I asked myself this question this morning and the first thing that came to mind was that He is like the guy at the toll booth. I have tried to convince myself of other pictures of God and me, but it's not happening.
This is why I have drawn this picture:
• I drive up to see Him, throw some money in a bucket, spend a couple seconds saying, "Hey" but never put the car in park.
• I coast through the booth with my foot tapping the brakes, inconvenienced that I had to slow down and not understanding why my future journey should cost anything.
• I don't spend the time to get to know Him. And, He doesn't know me as intimately as I could allow Him to.
• I pay my dues... but don't think much about it. I don't let it change me.
• I don't learn from Him about what's coming up and how I should be on my way.
• I don't thank Him for being there or for preparing the road ahead.
It's pretty bad if you think about it. Now you know why I haven't been blogging. It would seem pretty lame to write a book about going through the same toll booth every day with nothing ever changing.
After I thought about all of this when I woke up this morning, and after being thoroughly disgusted with myself, I began to think forwards. How can I allow my picture of God and me to change for the future? What SHOULD that picture look like?
The answer I came up with is found in Psalm 91. I would suggest reading the whole thing, especially the end. The verse that sticks out for me, though, is verse 1. This is what I want my picture of God and me to look like:
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."
Isn't that beautiful?
I want that verse to be about me. Another version says that "he ABIDES under the shadow of the Almighty."
What if I chose to DWELL and ABIDE in Him?
What if I let Him INSPIRE me, GIVE ME LIFE?
What if I chose to let Him MAKE ME VALUABLE, instead of everyone else?
What if we all did?
So... what does your picture look like... of you and God?
Here are a couple reasons I was not posting:
1. My intentions were impossible to accomplish.
I think that most all of us want people to think that we are awesome, to have a better impression of ourselves than we know we actually are. Of the people who want this, I am the worst. I want you, whoever you are, to think that I have something great to say, something inspiring or something valuable to know about life and God and love. And well, I don't. I know it sounds ridiculous that I want this, but I do. I need to be honest about that. I have some deep screwed-up part of me that wants your validation and approval as a human being and I guess I had some sick idea that I was capable of deceiving anyone who reads this blog or who knows me.
So, I stopped blogging for awhile because I had nothing to say that would make you think I am valuable. Ridiculous, I know. I have been in a lifeless place, one that I'll give a look into below, one that I unintentionally put myself in. I have not been abiding in the Giver of life, of my life. So... how could I possibly be inspired for life if I am not going to the One who originally inspired me... literally, who breathed life into me?
2. I treat God like the guy at a toll booth. Really.
I hate saying that so everyone can see it because I know I am being vulnerable, real and authentic... and not in a pleasing way. If I were being authentic by saying awesome things about God and me and our life together... that would be easy. However, I'm not. And, like I said above, I want you to give me value because of who I am. Well, since I am, slowly but surely, learning that you aren't the one who is going to create value in me... I suppose it's time for me to stop trying to impress you. About the guy at the toll booth, though...
I often ask people to draw a picture of their relationship with God using words. People say all sorts of things in response to that request, but I have found it to be an awesome way to get to know someone and see where they are. (I didn't come up with the question... a friend of mine in college asked it to me once... and it stuck.) I asked myself this question this morning and the first thing that came to mind was that He is like the guy at the toll booth. I have tried to convince myself of other pictures of God and me, but it's not happening.
This is why I have drawn this picture:
• I drive up to see Him, throw some money in a bucket, spend a couple seconds saying, "Hey" but never put the car in park.
• I coast through the booth with my foot tapping the brakes, inconvenienced that I had to slow down and not understanding why my future journey should cost anything.
• I don't spend the time to get to know Him. And, He doesn't know me as intimately as I could allow Him to.
• I pay my dues... but don't think much about it. I don't let it change me.
• I don't learn from Him about what's coming up and how I should be on my way.
• I don't thank Him for being there or for preparing the road ahead.
It's pretty bad if you think about it. Now you know why I haven't been blogging. It would seem pretty lame to write a book about going through the same toll booth every day with nothing ever changing.
After I thought about all of this when I woke up this morning, and after being thoroughly disgusted with myself, I began to think forwards. How can I allow my picture of God and me to change for the future? What SHOULD that picture look like?
The answer I came up with is found in Psalm 91. I would suggest reading the whole thing, especially the end. The verse that sticks out for me, though, is verse 1. This is what I want my picture of God and me to look like:
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."
Isn't that beautiful?
I want that verse to be about me. Another version says that "he ABIDES under the shadow of the Almighty."
What if I chose to DWELL and ABIDE in Him?
What if I let Him INSPIRE me, GIVE ME LIFE?
What if I chose to let Him MAKE ME VALUABLE, instead of everyone else?
What if we all did?
So... what does your picture look like... of you and God?
Thursday, January 1, 2009
"Come To Me"
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
“And in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you as a father carries his son, all the way until you reached this place.” (Deuteronomy 1:31)
Before the new year, I retreated. I retreated from people, the world, my house, my jobs, my normal life. It was great. I spent a night and a day in a cabin in the woods that a friend let me borrow. I wanted to spend some time being with Jesus and planning for 2009. Well, I was with Jesus, but I definitely didn’t make any 2009 plans.
I wanted to learn something that day. I wanted to grow, to be encouraged and to be rejuvenated. I had hoped that God would teach me something new about Him or myself or life. I had a mission for the day and instead, I woke up in the morning (on the 30th) and went downstairs only to sit in an armchair with my feet up for the rest of the day. The day before, I had told a friend of mine that I would probably be bored and want to do something else. My feelings were completely the opposite. That day, I RESTED.
My time with Jesus wasn’t spent studying, planning, learning, visioning or anything like it. I came to Him, and I rested. I took His yoke upon me to learn from Him and I found rest in my soul. That day, I was weary and burdened, and HE GAVE ME REST.
Tonight, I read back through my journaling from my time at the cabin. I want to remember that day forever. I want to remember the feelings so that I never cease to go to Him. I would encourage you to do the same... it is amazing, trust me.
I wrote down all of the unknowns in my life, forming them as questions that I have no answers to. Next, I entered a journey to rest with the Lord, included in my following journaling from the day that is below. I want to share that with you, whoever you are, out there in that great big internet void. I want to share it with you so that you can seek and pray for this same rest for your soul.
“So many of these things are burdens to me. Not heavy, emotional burdens, but definitely things that take up thinking space to no avail.
“I think I want to take the next step in trusting God--with EVERYTHING.
“There is no way I can answer the above questions. So, why do I try? Why don’t I listen to the words of Jesus in Matthew and know that God wants to carry me like a father carries a son (Deuteronomy)?
“Today, I ask for rest in my soul. I come to you, God, and receive your invitation to take your yoke and burden in exchange for my own.
“I want to feel my weight in the chair I sit in. I want to have a resting mind that isn’t obsessed with “to do” lists. I want to have peace in my spirit from the comfort provided by the Lord at each and every moment, not concerned about the next moment, hour, day, year, or my life for the peace that He provides in this moment is enough for me to know that His promises, His care, His peace and His love will endure forever. For these things, I give thanks.
“I put my questions in Your hands.
I put my value as a human being in Your hands.
I put my future in Your hands.
I put my resources in Your hands.
I put my past mistakes in Your hands.
I put my life, all my days, in Your hands.
“And I trust You to hold these things, receiving the promises of peace you offer to me, in my burdened, weary state I’m in.
“Make me like You--give me a gentle and humble spirit like You talked about.
“And as for my soul... it rests... just as You said it would. Thank You, Jesus.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. (Psalm 23:1-3)”
Later in the day, I continued writing...
“I came to the cabin today to hopefully figure out some answers to some questions and uncertainties I had about my future. I think, though, that instead I just need to rest in Him and trust His plans for me... I will wait, submit, rest and I will love this grand adventure instead of always trying to figure it out.”
Care to join me?
“And in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you as a father carries his son, all the way until you reached this place.” (Deuteronomy 1:31)
Before the new year, I retreated. I retreated from people, the world, my house, my jobs, my normal life. It was great. I spent a night and a day in a cabin in the woods that a friend let me borrow. I wanted to spend some time being with Jesus and planning for 2009. Well, I was with Jesus, but I definitely didn’t make any 2009 plans.
I wanted to learn something that day. I wanted to grow, to be encouraged and to be rejuvenated. I had hoped that God would teach me something new about Him or myself or life. I had a mission for the day and instead, I woke up in the morning (on the 30th) and went downstairs only to sit in an armchair with my feet up for the rest of the day. The day before, I had told a friend of mine that I would probably be bored and want to do something else. My feelings were completely the opposite. That day, I RESTED.
My time with Jesus wasn’t spent studying, planning, learning, visioning or anything like it. I came to Him, and I rested. I took His yoke upon me to learn from Him and I found rest in my soul. That day, I was weary and burdened, and HE GAVE ME REST.
Tonight, I read back through my journaling from my time at the cabin. I want to remember that day forever. I want to remember the feelings so that I never cease to go to Him. I would encourage you to do the same... it is amazing, trust me.
I wrote down all of the unknowns in my life, forming them as questions that I have no answers to. Next, I entered a journey to rest with the Lord, included in my following journaling from the day that is below. I want to share that with you, whoever you are, out there in that great big internet void. I want to share it with you so that you can seek and pray for this same rest for your soul.
“So many of these things are burdens to me. Not heavy, emotional burdens, but definitely things that take up thinking space to no avail.
“I think I want to take the next step in trusting God--with EVERYTHING.
“There is no way I can answer the above questions. So, why do I try? Why don’t I listen to the words of Jesus in Matthew and know that God wants to carry me like a father carries a son (Deuteronomy)?
“Today, I ask for rest in my soul. I come to you, God, and receive your invitation to take your yoke and burden in exchange for my own.
“I want to feel my weight in the chair I sit in. I want to have a resting mind that isn’t obsessed with “to do” lists. I want to have peace in my spirit from the comfort provided by the Lord at each and every moment, not concerned about the next moment, hour, day, year, or my life for the peace that He provides in this moment is enough for me to know that His promises, His care, His peace and His love will endure forever. For these things, I give thanks.
“I put my questions in Your hands.
I put my value as a human being in Your hands.
I put my future in Your hands.
I put my resources in Your hands.
I put my past mistakes in Your hands.
I put my life, all my days, in Your hands.
“And I trust You to hold these things, receiving the promises of peace you offer to me, in my burdened, weary state I’m in.
“Make me like You--give me a gentle and humble spirit like You talked about.
“And as for my soul... it rests... just as You said it would. Thank You, Jesus.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. (Psalm 23:1-3)”
Later in the day, I continued writing...
“I came to the cabin today to hopefully figure out some answers to some questions and uncertainties I had about my future. I think, though, that instead I just need to rest in Him and trust His plans for me... I will wait, submit, rest and I will love this grand adventure instead of always trying to figure it out.”
Care to join me?
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