When Jesus Spent Time With God...

While Jesus was living on this planet, walking around with people like you and me, He spent time with God. I find that fascinating. He was WITH God, He WAS God and He COMMUNED with God. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are the most fascinating and ideal example of ultimate community.

When I think about them BEING together, I seriously can't even wrap my mind about what that would look like. They already know everything about the others, but they talk and relate and make requests of the others and go back and forth about things.

It's interesting because some emotions we experience when we relate to others, they never experience. They are probably never surprised, for instance, because they already know the other two so well that they expect everything already. We, on the other hand, are surprised, intentionally and unintentionally, by others all the time. That kind of makes me laugh because when the three, the Trinity, are together, One of them could make a joke... but both of the others would already know what was coming. I imagine they would all laugh, though, because they love each other so deeply and I would suspect that they have the utmost regard and respect for the others.

[I hope that this isn't seeming like I am saying things without knowledge about them. I really am just speculating about something I know nothing about.]

Something that made me wonder about the Three of them was John 17. Have you read it? Even if you have, go read it again. In it, Jesus is praying. Have you thought about that? Jesus (God) prayed to God. I had a hard time trying to think about that until I realized that there isn't anything really different about it from when we pray. While God knew everything that Jesus was going to say, He knows everything that we are going to say. God allowing us to speak to Him is inviting us to experience a taste of the ultimate community that He experiences and offers to us... one that we, one day, will know. Like I said... I find that fascinating. I could go on talking about that and chase all sorts of rabbits in my mind about it, but I won't. I will, however, leave you with John 17:20-23, the beginning of the part where Jesus prays for everyone who is going to believe in Him. Yes, think about that... He prayed for me... and you, too, if you believe:

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one. I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you loved me."

Isn't it interesting how much Jesus talked about us being in Him and God being in Jesus and different connections like that? It continues throughout the passage... but what I love is knowing that the purposes for that ultimate community are: "so that the world may believe that [God] has sent [Jesus]' and "to let the world know that [God]... loved them even as [God] loved [Jesus]."

Yes, definitely fascinating.

Third Time's A Charm?

So... this is the third time I have resolved to start blogging. Again, I hate that I can't consistently keep up with this endeavor. My hope is that the third time's a charm. I woke up this morning and realized why it has been so impossible and how I might be able to change my previous inconsistency.

Here are a couple reasons I was not posting:

1. My intentions were impossible to accomplish.

I think that most all of us want people to think that we are awesome, to have a better impression of ourselves than we know we actually are. Of the people who want this, I am the worst. I want you, whoever you are, to think that I have something great to say, something inspiring or something valuable to know about life and God and love. And well, I don't. I know it sounds ridiculous that I want this, but I do. I need to be honest about that. I have some deep screwed-up part of me that wants your validation and approval as a human being and I guess I had some sick idea that I was capable of deceiving anyone who reads this blog or who knows me.

So, I stopped blogging for awhile because I had nothing to say that would make you think I am valuable. Ridiculous, I know. I have been in a lifeless place, one that I'll give a look into below, one that I unintentionally put myself in. I have not been abiding in the Giver of life, of my life. So... how could I possibly be inspired for life if I am not going to the One who originally inspired me... literally, who breathed life into me?

2. I treat God like the guy at a toll booth. Really.

I hate saying that so everyone can see it because I know I am being vulnerable, real and authentic... and not in a pleasing way. If I were being authentic by saying awesome things about God and me and our life together... that would be easy. However, I'm not. And, like I said above, I want you to give me value because of who I am. Well, since I am, slowly but surely, learning that you aren't the one who is going to create value in me... I suppose it's time for me to stop trying to impress you. About the guy at the toll booth, though...

I often ask people to draw a picture of their relationship with God using words. People say all sorts of things in response to that request, but I have found it to be an awesome way to get to know someone and see where they are. (I didn't come up with the question... a friend of mine in college asked it to me once... and it stuck.) I asked myself this question this morning and the first thing that came to mind was that He is like the guy at the toll booth. I have tried to convince myself of other pictures of God and me, but it's not happening.

This is why I have drawn this picture:
• I drive up to see Him, throw some money in a bucket, spend a couple seconds saying, "Hey" but never put the car in park.
• I coast through the booth with my foot tapping the brakes, inconvenienced that I had to slow down and not understanding why my future journey should cost anything.
• I don't spend the time to get to know Him. And, He doesn't know me as intimately as I could allow Him to.
• I pay my dues... but don't think much about it. I don't let it change me.
• I don't learn from Him about what's coming up and how I should be on my way.
• I don't thank Him for being there or for preparing the road ahead.

It's pretty bad if you think about it. Now you know why I haven't been blogging. It would seem pretty lame to write a book about going through the same toll booth every day with nothing ever changing.

After I thought about all of this when I woke up this morning, and after being thoroughly disgusted with myself, I began to think forwards. How can I allow my picture of God and me to change for the future? What SHOULD that picture look like?

The answer I came up with is found in Psalm 91. I would suggest reading the whole thing, especially the end. The verse that sticks out for me, though, is verse 1. This is what I want my picture of God and me to look like:

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

Isn't that beautiful?

I want that verse to be about me. Another version says that "he ABIDES under the shadow of the Almighty."

What if I chose to DWELL and ABIDE in Him?
What if I let Him INSPIRE me, GIVE ME LIFE?
What if I chose to let Him MAKE ME VALUABLE, instead of everyone else?

What if we all did?

So... what does your picture look like... of you and God?